im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
