32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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