Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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