There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize