So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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