All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
