OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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