the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
