the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
