areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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