break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
