Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
