We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
3pm strippers are depressing
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
