My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
