That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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