Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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