I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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