I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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