she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
