I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
