I'll bet she douches with gravy.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
