How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
