Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
