i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
