Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
