Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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