My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
