I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
