I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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