they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
