I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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