I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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