but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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