He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I would ride that face into the sunset
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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