Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
