I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
