hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
