I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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