Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
