We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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