obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
