I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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