It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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