he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This is classic penis vs brain.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
