The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
