Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
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I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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