I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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