Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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