I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
