Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
