i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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