I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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