I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
