Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
did i walk over a car last night?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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