y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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