you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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