then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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