Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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