Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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