i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
